the news here is that the Senate  was introduced by the IA Human Resources committee on Wed Feb 6, and was given to a sub-committee of HR consisting of: Schuerer, Chair; Behn and Kreiman (You can view all of the Senate and House majority and minority leaders here: http://www.legis.state.ia.us/Legislators.html.) The bill "prohibits a person who is otherwise eligible to adopt under the current adoption provisions from adopting if the person is a homosexual."

l feinberg's coming here...

ah things to look forward to. haven't eaten today bc i went to teach then had a slew of xrays to determine what this thing in my neck is. it's not cancer or even bone, even if it feels boney. it's just a muscle knot or something, but certainly a big hard one. so this means now i go to physical therapy. anyway it was kind of fun to focus on my health in this hospital which is like a fancy airport-mall like the one at detroit or minneapolis, with bake sales and cafes and large screen pbs-like shows with animals and lots of people in chairs hanging out - there was even a performance, a frank sinatra character singing accompanied by a piano. i love specialists, you can tell them every twisted thing and push them to the limits of their knowledge, which i do, being the neurotic jew i am, and i love xrays, the smell of the darkroom chemicals and even being pumped with the radiation gives me a little high. they put a bebe (?) over the knot and i had to walk around in the hospital gown which made me feel like i was "the patient" even tho i wore clothes underneath, i felt all docile and the women took care of me. and of course when they gave me the huge inter-office envelope containing my xrays i wanted to run away with them, peeked at them in the hall as if i was a doctor myself, then had to go back, and smelling eveyone's lunch along the way made me feel like i was going to faint.

oh, hungry! but i'm not going out, leaving the lab yet - it's snowing hard, i'll blow away. plus, i parked my car directly across from erica's house - not intentionally - it was the only space i could find, and i didn't realize where i was until i started walking. her books are in my car. i had to walk by her house and the house with the disgusting men who stayed up all night calling us nasty lesbians and telling us to turn the light on so they could watch, and the trash all over the lawn...ug. she'll hopefully be in class by now. i just don't feel like dealing. she wasn't in class last week, and that one class we share is cancelled this week, so potentially i won't have to encounter her for at least another week. i'm hermiting out. it's so necessary.

so yeah i had a massage yesterday by this sexy energetic dancer lady. and i'm not smoking. times like this, when i'm hungry, and needing to stay up all night, that's when i want to smoke. but all i want to do really is sleep. for now this smoking no longer soothes.

i hate how when i get home i feel compelled to clean, being compulsive. wish i could compulsively work. ethics, morality, the sublime, la lala. i want to fly away. "the fast runner" came out on video today, perhaps i'll while away my hours that way. oh, smoke. Oh my pipe! hard must it go with me if thy charm be gone!

i'm sad. my love is so far away. and we have designed no future just his everlasting love for sex and cumshots..

i know that's not much of an excuse. bla. i miss zipping around on the train and feeling the whole city pulse in my veins, out all day, ready for anything. you kiddies out there now are on the edge with your necks out and i love you all for it. here we have protests and letter-writing and rallies...and i feel so disconnected. but here is a state of mind. i guess there's some part of me that doesn't wish to be all that here. windward, i pace the planks.